The end of the semester approaches. Finals are drawing near. Our fears . . . . are – frankly – increasing rapidly by the day. It makes me laugh to think of all those years of grade school and last year’s college. How hard I thought those finals, yet how greatly I looked forward to just doing them for the break. I’m afraid that isn’t the case here. Yes, of course, I look forward to them just being done, but that means that I have to actually sit down and do them.
To add to all of that, I’ve decided to enter the world of CNA (or, NA/R) work again. This means scrubs, call lights, paychecks, taxes and a much tighter schedule. I sincerely hope that accepting this position wasn’t a foolish choice. We shall have to see.
All of this responsibility given (or thrown upon, I suppose) to me has taught me how very human I am. It has also taught me how much I still need to grow up. As a child, things were easier. There were obviously times when I thought that it was harder to be a child than to be an adult, but that is an absurdity.
Think not that I complain here. I don’t. However much this scares me, I know it shall be worth it in the end. However many difficulties come, I know that, years from now, I’d never change a thing. Everyone must grow up in time, and growing pains are not pleasant. I am glad to be of use and service where I am; I am upset by my inability to always do a good job. But both feelings are great incentives to do my utmost for his highest – for I know that it is all for him.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
– James 1:2-4 (ESV)